Lamenting the Woes of microsoft frontpage

This is how awful frontpage is.   Just take one look at the code*!!!

So there I was, typing up the copy for a webpage, when suddenly, one of the words I typed underlined itself.  I didn't tell it to be underlined.  If I wanted it to be underlined, I'd've hit ctrl+U prior to typing the word.  Just then, two more words underlined themselves.  It didn't even fit into the stylesheet's specification.  I mean, white text on a black background, with a *red* underline??? Give me a little credit.  White text=white underline, am I wrong?  'Course not.

If I were a complete idiot, I s'pose I'd appreciate frontpage holding my hand, telling me how to spell certain 6-grade-level words, but I'm a college student. We're all EXPECTED to be able to spell things correctly.  Spell check is useful about 15% of the time; otherwise, it only serves to insult my intelligence.  Apparently, frontpage expects me to capitalise the word frontpage.  In fact, with a simple right-click action, you can verify that microsoft feels that the only proper spelling involves capitalising not once, but twice.  Maybe if it were more important of an application than it currently is, a double-capitalisation would be warranted.  But as it stands now, absolutely not.

I guess british spellings aren't supported in frontpage either.  If you stop and think about it, the letter Z doesn't belong in such a high ratio of words in the English language.  Try to turn any verb into a noun, and frontpage insists that you throw a zed in there, just for grins.  Ah, but does frontpage even cause me to grin?  It hasn't recently.

And by recently, I mean since 1970, the date the frontpage software believes existence came into being.

Now let's discuss the necessity of having a separate tab for WYSIWYG editing and preview mode.  {error: divide by zero.  aborting} On second thought, let's not.  I can't bring myself to discussion of a subject that makes absolutely no sense.  No sense to the point that my brain is beginning to hurt from just the attempt at comprehending what's going on over there in microsoft's code warehouse.  Suffice it to say that microsoft could use a refresher on what WYSIWYG officially is an acronym for. 

What I can do, with minimal mental processing power, is ridicule microsoft for hard-coding the <b><i> and <u> tags into their fantastical suite of web-developing tools.  While it may be a little-known fact, these tags bring up understanding issues when loaded by a text-only browser.  Visually impaired surfers depend on either Braille or text-to-speech rendering of web pages.  These browsers support the old, more contextually descriptive <strong> and <em> tags.  Just having an underline  button in an web authoring utility is enough to make the average intermediate HTML designer chortle, but since the option is also available in Dreamweaver MX, I can't really talk trash.

List of words that piss frontpage off:

  • microsoft [-'s]
  • frontpage
  • webpage
  • I'd've (contraction of I would have)
  • ctrl+U (a valid keyboard shortcut for underlining words)
  • stylesheet's (possessive form of stylesheet, a common HTML design device)
  • s'pose (conversational pronunciation of suppose)
  • capitalise [-ation] (.uk variant of capitalize)
  • british
  • Dreamweaver MX (a competing, and far superior web authoring tool)
  • .uk (internet abbreviation for United Kingdom, commonly used throughout the world)
  • harbours (.uk spelling)
  • naughts (.uk, plural form of zero)
  • charset (I shouldn't be surprised that ms frontpage gibberish is translated as such even *within* the safe confines of ms frontpage)
  • ProgId (Ibid.)
  • FrontPage.Editor.Document (proven retardation: all words, all capitalised, all punctuated, yet not even one good suggestion is offered to rectify the atrocious code)

Didn't piss frontpage off, but probably should have:

  • 'Course
  • Z (not a word, just a letter; certainly not grammatically correct)
  • zed (.ca for the letter z; also not a word)
  • WYSIWYG (evidently, even though they're not sure what it stands for,
  • they *do* know that it's something)
  • ms (not a word: the spell check should at least be whining at me to put a period at the end, signifying 'miz')
  • .ca (this proves that microsoft harbours ill will toward our neighbors across the big pond, yet no animosity exists between the same and those insidious masterminds to our immediate north)</conspiracy theory>
  • ASCII (the selective addition of some acronyms and not others of equal obscurity perplexes even the most astute)

*Before I even began typing this page, I specifically went into the HTML view and deleted the pre-coded garbage† proclaiming to all the world that the person designing everything you've been looking at is a mindless sheep using microsoft software because no other brand of packaged ones and naughts exists in their tiny realm of knowledge

<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 4.0">
<meta name="ProgId" content="FrontPage.Editor.Document">

Ok, I confess, I had to open up Dreamweaver to find the proper hex code for the dagger, but I didn't use the hex code, just the symbol, because frontpage didn't recognise the presence of a character outside of the ASCII character set.   To set the record straight, Dreamweaver has never seen, and will never see this page.

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