Four-Letter Words

As most of you are aware, I tend to express myself without the use of commonly uttered vulgarities. To some, this renders myself as an extrahumanoid that fails to properly feel emotions, vent anger, and places himself on a pedestal above all humanity.

You'd be right, but there's a variety of reasons why I choose to circumvent vulgarities with slightly less offensive subject matter.

First of all, whenever I hear profanity uttered, I automatically lower the speaker to the "vulgarity peg" in my personal classification system. This isn't necessarily a position for being looked down upon however, as practically everyone I know resides happily on this peg.

Secondly, I regard foul language as the vernacular of uneducated white trash who spend all day drinking 12-oz after 12-oz of cheap domestic beer while shouting at the neighbor's three-legged dog to defecate in someone else's patch of dirt in front of the trailer's cement stairs.

Cursing has become an alternative to developing intelligent thought; it dismisses an entire situation with a single four-letter-word. There are millions of words in the English language at our disposal, and the majority of the country's population has settled for seven.

For the more creative swearers, generally those who have been doing it for a long period of time and have finally run into the stifling expression they permit, the creativity that goes into combining curses with other words or curses must be commended. These artisans of adult language have taken the form above and beyond standard cursing into a field of colourful entertainment.

I tend to take notice when the swear barrier in different social situations is broken. It sticks out to me like a bad note in a major chord. In some conversations, it's the first word. Other conferences may take weeks before the offensiveness is unleashed. It's when the curses fall upon the underaged that I begin to truly become offended.

I've been subjected to the filth for years now, and while it still bothers me to some extent, I can deal with the reality in a mature way. When children hear profanity emanating from a conversation that passes by them, they have nothing to shield them from it. These children are being corrupted in a way that no parent or guardian can protect against.

The main argument for swearing insists that these are words just like every other word in our language. This argument is based in ignorance. If they're just words, why not learn how to use an abundance of well-selected words to express yourself in an intelligent manner?

At least then, you can pretend to be intelligent, and even possibly well-versed when defending a point in a completely nonoffensive way. Save the dissonant speech for when there is absolutely no possible verbal alternative.

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