Seventy-Two Degrees Farenheit

I've been sitting in a room for four hours, at which point I finally realised something. Before, I thought that I could be comfortable in a wide range of temperatures centered on the world-standard room temperature of 72° Farenheit. Then, six minutes ago, it hit me. I'm sitting right under a thermostat which reads

KEEP @ 72°
THANKS-I.T.

and I'm freezing.

Come to think of it, I'm the same way in the apartment. The thermostat there seemed to me to be miscalibrated, so I compensated for my chilliness by cranking it up to 76°. Keep the ceiling fans running, and it's completely comfortable. For two people. Add a third who sweats a lot and a problem develops.

A problem amplified when you live on the cooler, interior end of the 4-bedroom behemoth in which we dwell.

But what is the indication here? Before, I would always make fun of those people who complained about how hot/cold/humid/caffeinated a certain room or gathering place was. Am I now cursed to be a member of the collective of which I poke fun?

Probably so. I mean, I wear glasses now, I have a regular job that requires daily responsibility, I'm paying rent. I guess this is just another sign of me becoming useless.

But at this rate, what's next? I'll start talking to myself? Start using AOL again? Become addicted to Animé? Develop an unhealthy dependence upon alcohol? GASP! Become gay?

Relax. Most of those are things I'll have control over until my mind goes AWOL. Which, hopefully, won't be for another 55 years. By then, my comfort range will narrow on the other side until I can correctly identify when the temperature dips below a quarter of a degree because somebody just opened the refrigerator door downstairs.

Now there's a date I need to count down to.

Wait, a second... The temperature gauge indicates that this room is chilled to 67°. In fact, the thermostat doesn't even appear to function at all. It's cranked up to 80 and it's still cold. Bastards got me all worked up for nothing. Allow me to rephrase myself completely:

It's frikkin freezing in here.

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