Chicks Drinking Beer

Yesterday, I was looking out the living room window that faces the apartment complex's hot tub/pool/summer lounge area and I spotted a large cluster of college-aged women circled up sitting in the poolside furniture. They were lounging, conversing, telling jokes, and were gathered around a styrofoam cooler filled with ice-cold beer.

Without a single fratboy anywhere near them.

My mind was immediately blown. It's the middle of the day, and they're all downing brewskis. Without any necessity for "loosening up," "partying hard," "taking the edge off," or whatever it is alcoholics say to excuse their antisocial disease with social scenarios.

It's the last week of summer, you do nothing all day, except watch soap operas and talk to each other incessantly either on a cell phone or in person, and while you're doing so, you're getting a buzz in broad daylight and wearing only the skimpiest of bathing suits. WHY???

I achieved a logical breakdown at this point. No amount of weighing situations or following alternate paths of logic could explain what I saw in my binoculars.

The only thing I could come up with concerning this group of young ladies is that while they are relatively attractive people, they are doomed to life in a trailer, cursing the 3-legged dog from across the dirt road for relieving himself on their faded pink flamingo lawn ornament in between Coors-inflicted beatings from the "man-who-wears-the-pants-in-this-house."

No, it doesn't make sense that college-educated women would fall down this path of self-ruin. But I can at least take comfort in the fact that while they may be the center of social attention now, I shall rise above their fleeting (and let's face it, meaningless) 4-year-long-non-stop-toga-party popularity to provide this earth with intelligence and reason in whatever medium they choose.

And ignorance can continue emptying bottles of Rolling Rock into the spongy confines of its own rapidly-decaying liver.

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