Car Wash

For weeks, I've been driving around in a nominally filthy car. It's made me a bit angry that I didn't have enough time to clean it, but I lived with it for a good while. My main rationalisation was that every morning, an icy cocoon of dirt would descend on my car, and as soon as the 10:00 sun melted it away the dirt would always remain.

I was fed up with driving around in a ball of dirt, this weekend was boasting particularly pleasant springlike weather, and since I wasn't completely swamped with items on my agenda, I decided to take it to the car wash.

I pumped five bucks into the machine and went to town on my dustmagnet. Presoak, excessive foaming action brush, rinse, clearcoat, spotfree wash, the works. After a month of putting up with a dingy vehicle, I was once again granted the simple pleasure of driving around in a sparkling trophy to mankind's ingenuity.

Flash forward to this morning. I awake to stumble outside on my way to class, discovering as I unlock my car that the single most disgusting mudshower came down upon the entire city overnight.

Let's not mention that the weather forecasters never said a word about mudstorms as they talked about a cold front moving through. They don't even have a map symbol for mud. They've got ice, sleet, fog, snow, rain, even rare events like hurricanes and tsunamis, but I challenge any OU meteorology symbol to show me a map predicting a blast of mud from on high.

In the consideration of accuracy, I strongly recommend one is devised for future occurrences.

Returning to my vehicle, It now looks even worse than it did with four weeks worth of dust-ice residue. I'm betting that had I done nothing to clean the car up over the weekend, It would look about the same as it did before. I think that clearcoat stuff actually made the dirt appear worse than the previous amalgamation of filth would have.

Murphy's law generally prevents me from performing cosmetic upkeep on my car, but the time I actually throw caution to the mud-saturated wind, I and my car are both defecated on in every sense of the word.

The question is, what do I do now? I can barely see through my windshield for all the mud splotches, but if I wash it again, God knows what's gonna spew from the heavens.

Probably brimstone.

That stuff's murder on the finish.

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