I have been betrayed.

A few minutes ago, I became aware of a holiday that has been appended to our calendar.

This past Wednesday, the eigth of October came and went without the slightest casual mention that we were supposedly honoring a discovering party of an entire continental land mass. Largely due to the previous night's election into public office an Austrian bodybuilder who is unable to pronounce the word gubernatorial, but this information is neither here nor there.

After twelve seconds of research, it appears that this holiday was declared two whole years ago by our loving president.

In the above referenced document, we have apparently been called to celebrate with our Nordic neighbors (on a global scale, I presume) the discovery of this land by bloodthirsty vikings.

All done in the name of political correctness, to be certain. The timing's a bit fishy, too.

We possess fairly accurate documentation on when Colombus set foot on Western soil, but Erickson's blind stumbling-upon of the New World is based largely on word-of-mouth accounts from unreliable (and hard to translate) Nordic folk tales laced with fables of the Gods coming down from their lofty perch to partake in mead and chess tournaments with spikes penetrating their skulls.

So, to compensate, Bush's brilliant marketing department, when charged to schedule an annual recurrence of this celebration, presented the following solution, deeply rooted in logic, but completely devoid of common sense:

-Columbus day is the third week of October, right?
-Leif Erikson discovered the New World before Columbus, right?
-So let's schedule Leif Erikson day in the second week of October.
-The second week comes before the third week.
-I know, I'm brilliant.
-Here, here!


There's not a whole lot I can do about that, though.

I've just got one question for these folks though:

When were you planning on letting the public know about this new holiday? Two years and five days later?

That's it. I'm voting for Bruce Willis in '04.

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