Fast Food

We've all seen Super Size Me. We know fast food has negative health effects. But there's a lot of times when we just don't have the time or the money to eat healthy. That's the only reason fast food is still around after so much bad publicity.

And judging from how busy people have become, it's no wonder it's such a booming industry.

The period between deciding what to eat and the act of consuming food is a fascinating one. As the go-to guy at work for picking up orders for the ravenous higher-ups, I've been able to observe it firsthand.

Primal instincts rear their ugly head in an otherwise civilized situation as the compromise of the day is reached: Where to eat?

“Oh, I don't want [establishment A]; they have terrible [specialty entrée].”

“Okay, how about [establishment B], they've got great [specialty appetizer].”

“No, I just had [establishment B] last night. How about [establishment C]?

“I guess that's okay. But I really wanted [specialty appetizer] from [establishment B].”

“Well you can get that at [establishment C].”

“Yeah, but it's not as good at [establishment C]...”

Every single day. Like it's a conversation they've never had before.

What's better than that is the conversation between two indecisive parties, who often need a third party to make that decision for them. Luckily, that problem has been solved.

So the decision has been made. You know where you're going. Now, to decide what to eat.

“I can't decide what to get, what are you having?”

“I thought you were going to get [specialty appetizer].”

“No, I told you [specialty appetizer] was better at [establishment B].”

“Well, I'm getting [specialty entree].”

“Okay, I'll get that, too.”

Clearly, these people are more interested in the act of stuffing their face than in the thing that is stuffing it.

There are more cerebral approaches, but I recommend steering clear of using wikipedia in your decision-making. One look at the Big N' Tasty article ruined my appetite. Luckily, it was easy to distract myself from the horrifying image of an everyday McBurger with articles only tangentially related to McDonald's.

The bottom line is, during this time between deciding you're hungry and actually eating, you should make sure you are interacting with the fewest people possible. Nobody likes to see their fellow human like this. Irrational and offensive behavior is at its peak when man's hunger must be satisfied.

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