Grammar: A Eulogy

You were a good friend, Grammar.

Stubborn sometimes, maybe; but thanks to you, communication was made clear and easy to understand.

And you had a good run. Hundreds of years! Not a lot of folks can stake that claim.

I'm really sad that you couldn't have stuck around to see all the change that's happening all around us. But some of that change is responsible for what's happened to you, so I could see how you'd be bitter.

Technology has made our lives easier in a lot of ways, but I suppose I always thought there would be a place for Grammar in a technologically-advanced society.

But back in everyone's mind were your tired rhymes:

'I' Before 'E', except after 'C'

Which led them to regard you as more of a nuisance than anything else.

It started innocently enough: capitals were tossed aside in emails and instant chats. Then, as SMS – a method focused on increased frequency and brevity – grew in popularity spelling started to slip. Before you could blink, conversation had degraded to inscrutable strings of consonants and Arabic numerals. Question marks became periods, commas turned into LOLs, and the difference between “your” “you're” and the Mesopotamian capital of Ur is only known by ancient historians.

In short, while I am sad to see you go. I may be the only one. Your presence helped me accomplish tasks faster without having to stop and decode ridiculous shorthand that changes from sender to sender.

While the rest of the technologically-advanced world lives on without giving you a second thought, I hope you'll take comfort in knowing that I will continue to keep your legacy alive. One day, people will stumble over my paragraphs of properly-formatted text, scratching their heads when they run across various punctuation marks and oddly-spelled words. And I will not apologize.

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