html

Yeah, I made up a tutorial on how to use Dreamweaver.

Why? Because I could.

No, really. Why? Because people want to know how to make their own website without having to contract some über-nerd and being talked down to in a condescending fashion.

I talk down to people in a condescending fashion? Well, of course I do. I'm better than you.

I know a seven-chapter tutorial seems excessive just to teach folks how to put their own junk on the internet for free, but it's something I believe in. A thing I believe in so rabidly that I currently jointly maintain three separate web accounts to which I am allowed to upload content.

And you know that'll increase once I hit another quota.

With html, I am able to freely express myself in ways I am unable to in traditional mediums. Plus, since nobody can change what I put up here (until my accounts are deleted), I am the master of each and every word represented here, typos and all.

Looking back on it all, I've been webmastering my own small little sites for a very long time.

First there was geocities. Because, well, you have to start somewhere. And back in '96, there were fewer reasons to hate it than the yahoo! monstrosity it has evolved into. There were no templates then. You had to actually comprehend the markup language to get anything to show up on your site.

My site was terrible, and had a terrible address. You had to pick a "neighborhood" to live in, and were then assigned a completely arbitrary four-digit number that supposedly represented a house number or something.

As I floated around free webspace providers, I briefly called tripod, chez.com (apparently they're french) and freeservers home before I completely gave up and started hosting my own site.

During that period, though, some interesting concepts went into effect. Somewhere offline, remnants of these sites exist, but they include such illustrious names as YellowSchmo's Pimp Paradise, Ølaf Brækkan for Senior Class Viking, and the Organized Integrated Effort Against Union (for which a colleague of mine and I ran into a bit of administrative flak).

Then, as I moved into the dorms at Oklahoma, I discovered that I need not depend on other services to provide space for me to upload my sites. With my high-bandwidth connection, I could leave my computer on all the time and not worry about space limitations.

It was during this year-and-a-half that I developed the hotsoda website, but most importantly, getbranded.org. For a brief twinkling of an eye in the era of internet freebies, I found a place that distributed trial-basis domains for zero dollars. I jumped on and registered a .org with a play on the closing phrase of a cheesy OSU animation hyping the debut of their updated identifying marks. "Are you ready to GET BRANDED???"

All of my friends held some sort of stance on the OSU issue, whether it be pro or con, so I had more support for this project than any of my previous ventures. Once the daily article concept got rolling, I got tons of submissions. The content basically generated itself. All I did was format it and post it around midnight.

That site itself reinvented itself a few times and ended up being the best-looking, most complex and content-rich site I've ever coded. That's the main reason I've archived it on my OU webspace. And it's taking up over half of that allotment.

As interest in bashing the Cowboys of Northern Oklahoma waned, I collaborated with my roommate on a short-lived webcomic called effit. I basically designed it myself and then transferred all content control over to him after awhile. Sadly, I was soon separated from my always-on high-bandwidth connection. Soon thereafter, these hours at work finally convinced me to continue my relentless pursuit of cluttering the web with mindless brain rot, a portion of which you are armpit-deep in at this very moment.

With each website I created, the look became more refined and the content more intelligent. Each time I edited a page, I learned more about what could be done with this simple little language and the implications of design embedded within it.

So why do I do it? Why do I waste so much space jabbering about nothing?

Because I can.

...NOT CONTROL MYSELF!!!

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