Face it. You're insane.

Everybody is.

Sanity is an arbitrary and unattainable standard set by a group of head doctors who assumed their collective thought processes paralleled those of a normal human being.

No one's thought process mirrors that of another. Each individual has their own experiences to draw from when they are attempting to wax cerebral on any number of subjects. This causes the thought process to stray from the main stream of thought, producing a unique path to what may be considered a common destination.

These differences in streams expose idiosyncrasies, setting apart individuals from one another and announce to the world that you are different.

You are different, and that's bad.

Differences in mental performances define insanity. Ideally, we would all be sane and therefore all share the same stream of consciousness.

Since that paradigm is long gone, I suggest that you adopt my philosophy on the subject, which I've had in my back pocket for quite a few years now.

Insanity is the best policy.

Embrace your insanity. Get to know it. Take it to dinner once in awhile. Let it pick what movie you're going to see.

Sure, you'll be taking in infinitely more Pauly Shore films than before, but it's better than wallowing in the denial that you're a normal, sane human being. Even the human being element could be called into debate from time to time.

You'll find a side of yourself that's been trying to get out all your life. You'll probably also be painfully reminded of why you kept it inside all this time, but your insane self won't care about how you are perceived by other autonomous carbon-based bipeds.

You'll find yourself a lot less stressed-out at the end of the day. In a patch of dandelions right off the interstate thirty miles from home. With your shirt unbuttoned, flapping in the wind and your pants around your ankles. Giggling hysterically as tiny invisible gophers tickle your knees.

You'll discover that your knees are ticklish.

That's valuable information about yourself that you can't learn by pretending to be a normal, functional humanoid. Information even money can't buy.

So repeat after me:

Insanity is the best policy.

Corrective luge trimmer.

Insanity is the best policy.

Gallbladder piston ejecto-tron.

Insanity is the best policy.

Pinball election grove happenstance.

Rotory starfish rumblesnort.

< previous | random | next >
«Entertain Yourself some more...