Instant Messaging License?

This bulletin comes from the Dear God, get that man away from a computer department:

Last night I was eating a cajun ham and spicy pepperjack cheese sandwich when, from across the apartment, I heard the familiar 5/8+7/8 strain that indicated there was an instant message waiting for me on my home computer.

I wait a few seconds before getting up, because I had just made the sandwich and wanted to enjoy it at a leisurely pace. Finally, I decided not to keep whomever it was from getting through to me and went to my computer to see what the fuss was about.

Turns out that Jesse had something to say to me. I indicated that I was indeed near my keyboard, hopefully to evoke importance from his fingers and headed back to the kitchen and that sandwich for which my stomach yearned.

As the sandwich was lifted to my mouth, I heard 3 more messages rocket across my screen. It must have been important. By the time I had actually gotten to my keyboard, another 2 had magically appeared.

ChronoJesster: hey

Auto response from dj rabbi: I'll be back after I re^up my mlife.

dj rabbi: yo
ChronoJesster: i forgot
ChronoJesster: oh wait
ChronoJesster: i rmember
ChronoJesster: dammit
dj rabbi: AAAACK
ChronoJesster: ill see you tomorrow...
ChronoJesster: youre a good man trey
ChronoJesster: that is all
ChronoJesster: night

Was I pissed? Of course. Had Jesse an internal monologue, I could have enjoyed that delicious sandwich in peace. Instead, I was pacing back and forth between the kitchen and my bedroom trying to understand, nay, just to comprehend what was going on over there.

For the most part, instant messaging *can* be a useful tool. If used sparingly, and when necessary, it can convey timely information completely free of charge. It is especially helpful in synchronizing events or even in running an entire website. But when it boils down to futile arguments over who sucks whose what and which what intensity or cranial feces as displayed above, It occurs to me that maybe they should issue an IM license, just to prevent wasted time and/or energy.

I'm not instating any regulations or procedures or anything, I'm just submitting an idea. And requesting that Jesse's IM license be revoked for a period of no less than thirty-six (36) hours.

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