One Size Fits All

The eighties were a silly time.

Skin-tight pants, wearing ten watches on one arm, Garbage Pail Kids.

But I think the most horrid thing to come out of the eighties (other than Cyndi Lauper) was the concept that an article of clothing only comes in one size, and that it would fit on anybody, large or small.

Are you telling me that both Mary-Kate Olsen and Manute Bol will both be able to wear the same shirt? Really? Because if you try to visualize this, that shirt will look ridiculous on both of them. And probably anybody else who tries it on.

That why the entire concept of clothing sizes exist. Otherwise, tailors would be out of a job, and the groomsmen at any wedding you go to would appear a jumble of lumpy black cloth.

I shudder to consider the dimensions of a person who would fit into one of those shirts.

My real question is, can I get that shirt in an extra-medium?

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