Plus-Up

In man's quest to get more soda and french fries, onion rings, tater tots, or nacho cheese, America's fast food restaurants have each registered a trademark that must be uttered when an order is placed.

McDonald's has the SuperSize
Burger King has King Size
Wendy's has Biggie Size
Arby's has Giant-Size
Taco Bueno has BuenoSize
Taco Mayo has Mayo Size
Sonic has Sonic Size
and KFC has... Plus-Up.

Plus-Up?!?!? What? That's the best KFC's marketing powerhouse could come up with? “Plus-Up your order for an extra-large drink and an extra side?” C'mon folks, I know you were a bit late in jumping on the meal-enlarging promos, but there has to be a catchier term out there than plus-up. This is coming from the same corporation who have launched brilliant advertising campaigns for Pepsi, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut, aren't they? Doesn't the talent spill over into the other subsidiaries? ‘Colonel-Size’ rolls off the tongue more fluidly than ‘Plus-Up’.

And don't pretend you want to preserve the integrity of Colonel Sanders' name. You gave him fifteen years in the grave and then immediately created a cartoon character based loosely on his exaggerated features, made him dance and quip useless catchphrases about chicken. There's no integrity left there.

It's no wonder you haven't heard Jason Alexander extolling the glorious benefits of Plussing-Up your chicken order. He'd sound like a fool. A bald fool with foolish words foolishly spilling out of his foolish mouth; words developed by a foolish team of foolish marketing majors who foolishly thought that they had hit the bigtime once they landed a job with the Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation.

What? KFC's food is fried????

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