Hail to the Veep

The Vice President of the United States of America came to Oklahoma last week. Two hours later, he left.

That's the way to visit Oklahoma.

Here's my interpretation of the morning from Mr. Cheney's point of view:

Cheney wakes up Friday morning. He pages his advisor.

“I'm going where today? Seriously? When did I agree to that? Oh. ...crap. Damn that crafty Inhofe. Well, let's make this quick. I don't want to miss Grey's Anatomy.”

So the dude jumps on Air Force Two and flies straight into Tulsa International, ducks off the plane into a limo and is driven straight to the Doubletree hotel where a room full of Republican oil tycoons are clamoring to see him.

Meanwhile, Secret Service and local organizers have been gearing up for this dignitary transit nightmare for at least a week. Closing off all the highways between the airport and downtown, roping off a safe area for the aging hippie protesters, securing the banquet hall, surrounding the building with attack dogs and incessantly defecating mounted police.

“...Just make sure the band doesn't play me off stage with ‘Hail to the Chief’. I hate that song.”

We didn't.

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